being weird.

Throughout my life i've always been the weird one. and to be honest i have struggled with it. i have found myself making mistakes in  friendships that were plain wrong for me just due to my weirdness, or differentness isolating me to those people and my immatureness at the time not helping me see the fakery in those people, however being weird has also allowed me to focus on my interests a lot more this year than i have previously due to no distractions from friends and school drama that originated from other friends actions and being alone has allowed me to self analyse and critically look at my thoughts, feelings, actions and behaviours that i have been partaking in for most of my life and also reflect on the actions i have made in the past in friendships that haven't been so great because im honestly not the greatest human being at times when i should be, things from talking about people to others, being negative and letting peoples actions towards me fill me up negatively rather than letting them go. But i can only learn from those mistakes and start anew in friendships which today i have decided to try and do by approaching that guy from uni via online message and grow that bud of friendship that has come easily between us when we've talked to making effort with a old time friend who's been there for me throughout all my ups and downs this year. To my boyfriend who never stops believing in me and always supports me in my crazy ideas such as auditioning for theatre and not being bothered by my crying when i cant get chocolate and then crying more because my make up that took me 40 minutes is ruined (thanks PMS) all in all even though it sucks sometimes being the weird one, it allows you to look from outside-in at society and yourself and stops you (i think) from losing yourself in others wants and needs because you simple dont conform to society in general